From atop my park bench:

I shall preach of the inequities of the world, and people in general!

Or I could just talk about semi-rescuing a cow from a fence at 9:00 last night...

Seriously!  We had two people driving down our road last night stop and ask us if the cows that were loose were ours.

Answer: NO.

They actually belong to the people behind us who are notorious assholes who just let their cows wander all over the place.  Including the middle of the road.  We've already had to deal with it several times when they've wandered onto our property and left giant steaming piles of cow poo everywhere.

This is very unhelpful because we have a dog that likes to like cow pies lovingly like they were lollipops or something.

Retarded poo licking dog.

I digress.

So, after the second person came by and told us that the cow was caught in the fence, Youngest and I decided to investigate.  The cows weren't even on our property, but they were down the road, and sure enough, one cow tried to barge through the fence, and her leg was caught on the barbed wire.  Her friends were all standing around her looking like they were wondering what the hell she was doing, why she wouldn't move, and wondering if there was anything good around they could chew for 46 hours or so before swallowing.

And, apparently, cars don't scare cows into yanking their legs out of fences, but two people walking down the road with a flashlight freak them the hell out, so that cow just yanked her leg out of the fence, and then thought we were chasing her and ran in front of us down the road back to our house until she found a hole in the fence she could go through to get back to her friends.

So.  That's how you save a cow in a fence.  Scare it with your 5 foot 3 inch frame and a flashlight.

And keep your retarded dog out of that field for awhile...


Remember, it's just a ride.