Yeah, in order to change the direction of my career path, I have to, once again, take ACLS.
It has been 5 years since I took it. 5 years....5 million years.....right now it feels the same!
Imagine it: I took a small quiz on ekg's yesterday, and I couldn't remember how to identify heart blocks!
Oh shit! Am I competent enough to say a rhythm is normal?! Crap. People are going to die under my care.
And it doesn't help remembering that every single time I had to do ACLS I freaked out quietly in my head. The very first time I had to take it twice because I failed the test!
Shit.
And of course I feel retarded because I do fine each time, but while I'm trying to puzzle out algorithms that look like sanskrit to me when I'm anxious, all I can think is, "People are judging you! They think you're full of shit! What made you think you could remember all this?!"
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| Bleh bleh bleh- trust me you don't need to blow it up for it to make any more sense when you're having a panic attack! |
I know it'll all be fine, and I think most of this weird anxiety is coming from the fact that I am trying to get back into a demanding nursing role after 5 years of either being off, or working a desk job or in a geriatric clinic. Meaning, I feel like I'm loosing my skills, and that freaks me out more than all the rest.
Remember, it's just a ride.
Best of luck, I'm trying to survive what's left of this term too. :P
ReplyDeleteYou had me at boner.
ReplyDeleteI was in college 5 years ago (I know, young pup) and if I had to retake any of those tests... I would fail, miserably. Good luck!