Courtesy of old people.
1- "What?!" Becomes your #1 question.
2- "Those dang kids....!" Becomes your #1 statement.
3- All younger people are your slaves, (in your mind), and they can never do anything right, nor do they ever know what they're talking about.
4- Depends are the things you truly depend on.
5- It was definitely better in your day. The rest of us weren't around.
6- Kids are tiring, I think I need a nap.
7- Long car trips make your butt numb.
8- Change disrupts the natural order of things in your world.
9- There comes a point where you just don't want to learn new things.
10- You don't have to put up with anyone's crap if you live to be 80.